They’re not that old… but just old enough for this card to be funny. This funny birthday card delivers a perfect punchline: “I’m Not Saying You’re Old, But if You Were Milk, I’d Sniff You First.” It’s sarcastic, slightly savage, and sure to get a good laugh — even if followed by an eye-roll.
Great for friends, siblings, coworkers, or anyone with a sense of humor and a few creaky joints. Whether you’re celebrating a milestone birthday or just another year older and none the wiser, this card keeps it light and playful.
Printed on premium 324gsm cardstock, this card has a smooth, quality feel. The inside is blank so you can add your own roast, heartfelt message, or both.
It’s the perfect choice when you want to say “happy birthday” and “you’re old” at the same time — with love, of course.
Product Compliance
- Materials: Premium Art Card Stock
- Packaging: Biodegradable sleeve (Eco-Friendly Fulfillment)
- Print Method: Giclée Fine Art Printing (High-Definition)
- Eco Standards: Recycled stock, vegan-friendly, water-based ink
- Warranty: 2-Year Warranty (UK & EEA) under Directive 1999/44/EC
- Safety Attestation: Issued February 2024 (Designed for Adult Use)
- Age Restriction: Designed for adult use
- Manufacturer: Helenz Ltd, operating JoyGREETS
- Location: 1415, Bulgaria, Sofia, Momino Venche 29
- Email: joy@joygreets.com
Michael Smith –
Nice one. Arrived safe and looked good.
Isla –
Delivery took a bit but the card was worth it.